Im writing a poem for college. I need an excellence. Just wondering does this sound any good?

Honestly this isn't bad. It almost reminds me of Rimbaud in it's emotional content and despair. I think it needs some work, however. Your metaphors are slightly cliche, which takes some of the power out of the poem. I teach Poetry at UNH and I would love to help you out. If you are interested, check out my page and see if I can help you make the poem phenomenal. Good luck. a href="http://fiverr.com/users/kgilmore465/gigs/write-a-professional-quality-poem-on-any-topic" rel="nofollow"http://fiverr.com/users/kgilmore465/gigs…/a